I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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