So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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