I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
