i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
