its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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