Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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