physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
