hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
