So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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