Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
