I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
