i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
