btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
