the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
