the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
