i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
