I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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