were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize