and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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