that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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