thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
