so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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