I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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