yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
