It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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