what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
