Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
