I want to make a zoo with you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
