it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
