Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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