My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
