Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
