oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
