dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
