no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
