my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
