I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
