Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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