I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
