i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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