Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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