did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm passing your future prison.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
