if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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