whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
