She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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