Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
