Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
