The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
