new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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