you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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