My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
