I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize