you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
