Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
