He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it's like iHOP with fire
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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