he was CRYING into my vagina
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
