that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I supernannyed him into submission
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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