Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
