guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
