i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
