Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
