why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize