Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
